Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

Me and this guy have known each other for years, months of him knowing that I like him more then a friend. I spilled my heart out to him and he didn't mop it up... gave me the whole I really care about you, BUUUUT....response. He says all he needs is his mom and sisters because he feels he needs to take care of them because of his fathers' negligence. I asked why he puts up a wall and won't let anybody in...even a girl who WANTS to take the time to get to know him better. He says he doesn't know why...

I feel exhausted and I did every possible thing to understand him and still no progress. I spoke a novel and he gave me one sentence. Now I'm just looking for the period at the end of the sentence so I can move on and start a different book.

I know he won't give me what I want which is a relationship and I shouldn't try for the unwilling, but why is it so hard to just move on?

Emotionally Exhausted

Dear Emotionally Exhausted,

The only "period" at the end of this sentence is the one you put there yourself. The guy has given you very clear messages. He's certainly not leading you on in any way. What do you need to have happen for you to realize this is not a healthy place for you to linger? Do you need to be hit by a bus or what?

I don't mean to be flip because I can tell you're intelligent (a good writer too) and I know this is frustrating and painful. But you can't control what you can't control. His feelings, his choices are his own. What you do with your choices, well, that's up to you. You know what they say... "It's your movie." If you don't like what's going on here, start a new script, this one is a dead end and you know it.

So, what would have to happen in order to for a smart young woman like you to wake up and say, "I've had enough of this."??

In friendship,

Terra

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