The Hey Terra! Parent Forum Newsletter helps you build healthier relationships
with your teenage sons and daughters. This free newsletter features parenting tips, letters
from parents about their teens, letters from teens about their parents, and a schedule of events
where parents and teens can hear Annie Fox live.
February Parenting Article –
When Love is in the Air:
Helping your teens when they’re feeling “crushed”
by Annie Fox, M.Ed.
| “If
you notice that your teen is just not acting like him or herself, don’t be shy, ask what’s going on.
But make sure you do it in a caring way so it sounds like a friendly invitation to talk, not an interrogation
with a prosecutor.” |
|
If you’ve walked into a supermarket or a drugstore chain in the past week you’ve been hit by sumptuous
displays of hearts and flowers. Yep, Valentine’s Day is fast approaching and that means Spring isn’t
far behind. A lot has changed since someone noted that “In Spring a young man’s fancy turns to love” but
just ask any teacher and he or she will probably report that balmy weather (and more revealing clothing) still has
the same effect on guys and girls today – when love is in the air everyone wants to feel the magic.
This is the time of year I am most likely to receive emails (sent to “Hey Terra”, my online persona)
like these from teens who wish they had a boyfriend or a girlfriend...
Continue reading the rest of the article...
Letters from Parents
This section features letters sent to Annie by parents. This one describes
the kind of problems that can happen at the other end of the romantic spectrum
when parents find their teenage sons or daughters getting 'too much' attention from admirers.
“Should I let a 17 year old boy date my 13 year old?”
Dear Annie,
I really need some advice before I make a decision regarding my 13 year old daughter and the 17 year old boy
whom she likes. He calls many times during the day — including always at 7 am and 11 pm — every
day, brings her gifts and flowers. I don’t think it is appropriate for a boy that age to be interested
in someone 13. My daughter says they are “just friends, not dating” and that he is her best friend.
She refuses to end the relationship. I know I cannot watch her 24/7. Am I making a mountain out of a molehill?
Worried Mom
|
 |
Dear Worried Mom,
You’re right to be concerned. It’s your responsibility to keep your daughter safe. It feels questionable for
a 17 year old boy to be “just friends” with a 13 year old girl, but the “many calls during the day” the
gifts, flowers, etc, are clear signs that this boy is romantically attached to your daughter. You need to tell your daughter
how you feel and let her know that this is going to end. Don’t be afraid to set limits and stick to them. You are the
adult here! If she continues to “refuse” to end the relationship, then you talk with the boy and tell him that
it’s over. You do not want him calling emailing, or visiting your daughter any more. And you can tell him why. This
is your child and you don’t need anyone’s permission to do what you believe is in her best interests. I hope
this helps.
In friendship,
Annie |
Got a parent-teen problem you need help with? Click
here to Ask Annie
Read other parents' questions here.
Read teens' letters about parents here.
If you're a teen and you need some help, click
here.
Upcoming Events
In the next two months Annie will be speaking at the following places.
| Date |
Description |
Location |
| 2/5/05 |
Superbowl Saturday Parent Education Presentation (culminating event of the City of San
Carlos' "Week of the Family"). 1:00-2:30 PM. For information 650 593-0947 |
San Carlos, CA |
| 2/24/05 |
Jewish Community High School of
the Bay Parent Education Night Presentation "Too Stressed to Think? How to stay sane, loving, and
rational when your teens drive you crazy." 7:00-9:00 PM. For information 415 345-9777 |
San Francisco, CA |
| 3/2/05 |
Carlmont High School Parent Education Night Presentation "Why 21st Century Teens Need
21st Century Parenting" 7:00-8:30 PM. For information 415 600-5045 |
Belmont, CA |
| 3/9/05 |
Free Public Event! Benicia
Public Library "Too Stressed to Think?" Workshop for teens. 6:30-8:00 PM. For information
call 707 746-4343 |
Benicia, CA |
| 3/15/05 |
Free Public Event! Ross Valley School District's Healthy Choices Committee
presents "Why 21st Century Kids Need 21st Century Parenting" White
Hill School, 7:00-9:00 PM. For
information 415 454-8390 |
Fairfax, CA |
| 3/24/05 |
Citizens Schools "Too Stressed To Think?" Workshop for tweens and teens. 3pm- 4:45 pm. McKinley
Institute of Technology Middle School. For information 650 562-0961 |
Redwood City, CA |
If you want Annie to speak at your event or conference, click here.
Resources
Hey Terra (www.AnnieFox.com)
– includes letters from teens and parents, Parent Forum articles past and present, information about Annie's
books, and workshops/seminars.
The InSite (www.TheInSite.org)
– created especially for teens who have ever thought about making a difference. The InSite provides
teens with the information, the inspiration, and many possible game plans so they can take charge of their choices
and their lives.
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