
Why are kids mean to each other? Usually they’re trying to get back at someone who hurt them. Or they’re trying to embarrass someone they don’t like even if that person hasn’t done anything.
Maybe bullies think that targeting others can save you from being targeted. Or that being first in line to start a rumor, make a rude comment, or threaten someone makes you cooler.
Anyone who believes that is wrong.


Cruel’s Not Cool! an anti-bullying campaign to engage students, teachers, administrators and parents in a community-wide exploration of our culture of cruelty, why cruel’s not cool, and what each of us can do, moment-by-moment to take back our schools by making them safer, more accepting places for all students all the time.
From Terra’s Inbox: Q&A About Bullying
From a Teen: “Why should they care if my bf is younger?”Hey Terra, I am in 8th grade and my bf is in 6th. I don't see any problem in the matter but my peers do. Some girls in my grade are constantly coming over to him and making fun of him for going out with an older girl. The kids in his grade don't seem to care at all. I really like him and we have been dating now for 3 months and luckily our parents are good friends. But why do the others in my grade care? Baffled |
From a Parent: “Mean girls are preying on my daughter.”Dear Annie, My 9 year-old daughter is the odd-one-out in her class. This "mean girl" has been saying hurtful mean things to my daughter and has shunned her on many occasions. The other girls in the class are beginning to do the same thing. I'm concerned about my daughter. Should I contact the school and can you suggest any reading materials to help both myself and the school in this matter? Thank you in advance for any help you can give. I would love to come to one of your Friendship Workshops, unfortunately we are on the opposite side of the country. Mama Lion |
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Read Terra’s Answer » | Read Annie’s Answer » |
More letters about bullying from teens »
More letters about bullying from parents »
Additional Resources:
- Facebook — We’ve set up a Facebook page so you can join the discussion about bullying... share your experiences and any solutions you’ve found that actually help. Connect with others committed to ending bullying. More »
- Blog Post: “We kids would like to know…” — For almost 13 years tweens and teens have been asking me questions. Usually they’re having problems with friends, former friends, mean kids… You get the picture. Their sadness and confusion gets to me. Sometimes I tear up at the keyboard. Sometimes I yell in frustration. They don’t understand why a friend would treat them this way. I don’t get it either. But I try my best to help by telling them what they can do to improve the situation. More »
- Parent Forum article — “Don’t Add to the Garbage”
- Parenting tips for helping kids deal with friendship challenges
- Parenting tips for helping kids survive mean girls/guys
- Podcast: Queen Bees Go Hi-Tech — Guest: Rosalind Wiseman
- Download “Cruel's Not Cool” Workshop PDF