Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

I have been in a relationship for almost two years and our relationship is perfect except we spend every second we have with each other crying and yelling because of my fear that he is going to cheat on me. He works with really pretty girls, and I am afraid that he judges other girls besides me. He tells me that when he sees a girl he is not judging them but he sees them as a person like any other person. I'm so afraid to get hurt. How do I let go and trust him? I want to believe what he is saying and instead of fighting all the time spend that time loving each other. Please help. He is too good to let slip away because of some stupid Jealousy. Help me.

Jealous Monster

Dear Jealous Monster,

Has your boyfriend cheated on you in the time you have been together? If not, then your fear that it's going to happen may be coming from a past relationship. It's obvious that your lack of trust is damaging the "perfect" relationship you have here. Sometimes jealousy comes from insecure feelings (like you don't think you are good enough to have this guy want to be faithful to you). But sometimes jealous feelings come from a sense you are getting that he is sending out vibes to other women. Is that the case? Do you actually sense that he is flirting with other women when the two of you are together? If you write back and tell me "No, he's totally focused on me" then I would say you should talk to a counselor about these fears of yours. If you don't get some help in learning how to trust then you will end up driving a wedge between the two of you. And if you end up breaking up with this guy without dealing with your jealousy issues, they will come up again in the next relationship you have.

In friendship,

Terra

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