Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

I really like this boy maybe even love him, and he likes me, but I don't know why he doesn't want to go with me. I am a little shy around him, but he has everything I want: handsome, great personality. I don't know why he won't say yes.

Stunned

Dear Stunned,

You may think he has "everything you want," but he's obviously missing the most important thing... He doesn't want to be with you as much as you want to be with him. That's why he "won't say yes."

This has nothing to do with you're being "a little shy" around him. It has nothing to do with you personally... How you look, how you act, etc. This boy has free choice when it comes to his feelings, thoughts and behavior. So do you.

Now, be honest with yourself, what's the point of choosing to get all worked up and "in love" over someone who doesn't feel the way you do? Doesn't it make more sense to accept reality ("This guy isn't the one for me because the one for me loves me as much as I love him.")

The sooner you accept reality the happier you're going to be.

Stay friends with him if you want to, but don't expect that pushing him to go out with you is going to change the way he feels. If anything, it's going to make him uncomfortable in the same way that you would feel uncomfortable if some boy who you just liked as a friend, kept pressuring you to go out with him.

My advice is for you to back off and let him have his feelings knowing that you can't control that any way. Then open your heart and mind to new relationships.

The right guy is out there. Don't worry. It all works out.

How's that sound?

In friendship,

Terra

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