Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Getting over a broken heart:
“It hurt so much to think about her.”
Hey Terra,
My gf recently broke up with me. I don't know why... I really loved her and cared for her, she said I was a great boyfriend, and really liked me. But slowly our relationship deteriorated, we didn't have much 2 talk about, and she hangs around with her male friends and 1 or 2 girls every day, even the weekends! I knew they were friends, but I didn't fit in with them, and therefore... less time for me. We started to have nothing to talk about, she has so many after school lessons, and I'm busy with hockey all week, but we had fun, like did oral and stuff, but we were a real good couple. I really didn't understand what happened and I still don't.I'm trying to get over her, but it hurts so much to think about her. We are friends now, hardly ever talk. I really miss her, but I know it's over. It hurts so much. No one has hurt me this much ever!!!
Hurting
Dear Hurting,
I'm sorry you're hurting. It's never easy to lose a relationship that you weren't ready to give up. You don't say how old you are or how long you were going out with this girl, but I'm wondering if you two knew each other very well before you became bf/gf. I mean, were you two actually friends, real friends, to begin with?
Also, I need to ask you something because I'm a little confused by what you wrote.
You said both and your gf were busy with after school stuff, didn't have a lot of extra time and that you "didn't have much to talk about", then you had "nothing" to talk about. If you didn't have much to talk about when you were together then what made you such a "good couple"? The oral sex? Is that what you're talking about when you wrote that you "really miss her" because you can't be missing the great conversations since it doesn't sound like you ever had any.
You also say that you and she are "friends" now, but you "hardly ever talk". That doesn't sound like "friends" to me. Friends talk! Friends are honest with each other. If you really don't "understand what happened" you should ask your friend and hopefully she will tell you why she broke up with you.
In the meantime, I'd suggest that you look around for a girl that shares your interests and values. You know, someone you can really talk to and be friends with. That part ought to come first before you get into the bf/gf zone.
In friendship,
Terra
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