Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

I have a friend who has a gf and they're on for about 3 months. Then my friend likes another girl recently, with their relationship still on. The bad thing is, the girl likes him and my friend likes the girl more than his gf. Me and others are thinking that it's only infatuation. What should we advise him so that he knows what to do? He's really freaking out... please help.

Juz Trying to HELP

Dear Juz Trying to HELP,

You're a good friend to want to help out this way. Here's the way I see it: if your friend has already got a girlfriend but he's feeling attracted to another girl, then the best advice you could give him is to be honest with his girlfriend. Either he's with her or he's not. If he's got strong feelings for someone else (even if it is just infatuation) he ought to come clean, otherwise, he's got to be doing some pretending when he's with his girlfriend. And that is awkward, uncomfortable, and not very respectful or honest. He wouldn't want to be treated that way, I'm sure!

If he wants to find out if he and this other girl could turn into something serious, then he has to break up with his girlfriend first. That's the rule, only ONE gf/bf at a time!

Will his girlfriend of 3 months be hurt, angry, and upset? Probably. But telling her that he has stronger feelings for someone else is the best way to handle this.

Tell him to think about it this way: if his girlfriend was the one who had a crush on some other guy (and the feeling was mutual) wouldn't your friend like to know about it from her, personally, rather than hear about from someone else, or worse, get dumped without even knowing what hit him?

I hope this helps.

In friendship,

Terra

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