Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

Lately I've been really flirty with other guys, just because flirting for me seems like a natural thing. People that know me say that everything I say is like, flirting because I just talk in a flirty way. Guys sometimes take this the wrong way and think that I'm single and interested even when I'm dating someone. So I don't know how I can stop being so flirty and get the message across that I'm not single.

Now there's this guy that I just asked out and he's "thinking about it" and I know he likes me cuz he tells people he does. But I feel bad because the last few relationships I've been in haven't lasted long because I start to flirt, but I don't actually have intentions for anything -- it just seems natural. And now I wanna get more serious about dating, but I don't know what to do because I flirt a lot and I don't want the guy I'm dating to get jealous or anything. How can I stop flirting with other guys and get my guy to not get jealous and trust me?

Flirty Girl

Dear Flirty Girl,

There is a difference between being friendly and being flirty. If you don't know the difference, then maybe you should talk to one of your close friends. She'll be able to tell you what she sees when you're doing it and that can help you become more aware of it so you can stop. Why stop? Because you are sending out sexual messages to other guys. They aren't taking it the "wrong way," you are just not aware of what you're doing. A good friend can help you understand that when you turn on your "natural" flirt button, you are sending out a vibe to guys and you are disrespecting the relationship you have with the guy you're dating.

I hope this helps you understand that this IS something you can change, but first you have to be aware of what you are doing. If you don't change this you will get a reputation as a flirt and no guy will want to have a relationship with you. You don't want guys not to be able to trust you, do you?

In friendship,

Terra

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