Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Emotions:
“I start asking these 'girl questions'!”
Hey Terra,
Recently I've become kind of paranoid and insecure at times. At really odd times too. One minute I'm happy, and then the next I'm terrified that my boyfriend's unhappy and not telling me. Sometimes I get that scared that he'll up and leave again like he did the first time we broke up. In actuality, I think that he is happy and fine, until I get paranoid and start asking those horrible girl questions: "Are you okay? Are you happy?" I'm worried that if this continues I'll scare him away. Can you help me? Thank you so much.Paranoid Girl
Dear Paranoid Girl,
It sounds like your fear is coming from left over feelings from the break up. If you're not sure what caused the break up then you are worried that you might do something that will cause it again (without even knowing it!).
My suggestion is that you and your boyfriend have an honest conversation about what went wrong the first time and what both of you will do (communicate feelings, etc.) to make sure that whatever it was, won't happen again.
Until you have this conversation and get an understanding of what happened before and how you can work now work together to keep it from happening again, it is likely that you will continue to "get paranoid".
So have a talk with him because right now, too much of this relationship is going on inside your head.
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.