Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Parents:
“My boyfriend doesn't want to meet my parents and his mom doesn't like me.”
Hey Terra,
I've been in this relationship with this guy for about 10 months. And my parents want him to meet them but the only problem is he doesn't want to meet them. So people tell me that I should break up with him but I love him very much. I don't know how to tell my dad that I love someone who doesn't want to meet him without hurting his feelings.I also have a problem with my boyfriend's mom because she doesn't like me. Every time me and my boyfriend talk on the phone she calls me names. I would really like you to help me on this problem if you can. PLEASE! Because I am really confused.
What a Mess!
Dear What a Mess,
It's natural that your parents would want to meet your boyfriend. It's a positive sign that they want to know someone that you've been dating for 10 months. How does it make you feel that your bf doesn't want to meet them? It probably makes you feel uncomfortable and maybe that you are "in the middle" and have to choose between your bf and your parents. (Not a choice anyone wants to make!) You don't say why you're bf is being stubborn about this, could it be that you don't know why? My suggestion is that you talk to him abut it and tell him that it's important to your parents that he meet them. Tell him that you would like that too. (I'm assuming that you would, right?) If he cannot willingly come and meet your parents, knowing that it would make you happy, what does that tell you about this young man?
As for your dad, tell him that you'd like your bf to come and meet him and your mom. Tell him that you will talk to your bf about that.
As for his mother's rude behavior toward you on the phone... You need to tell your boyfriend how it makes you feel when she "calls you names". And while you're on the topic, how does your bf feel when his mom does that? This is something that your bf needs to discuss with his mom. If he isn't willing to stand up for you and tell her to cut it out, then that also is an indication of his character.
I hope this helps.
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.
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