Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Competition:
“This other girl is coming between me and my best friend.”
Hey Terra,
I have this friend whom I've known since the seventh grade and when we first met, my best friend and I really liked her. And then she started to go out with my best friend's brother. Now in our sophomore year, I feel as if I'm always in competition with this girl over my best friend. She makes it seem like she should be best friends with my best friend just because she goes out with my best friend's brother. Sometimes this girl will talk to me and sometimes she can be a real bitch. I've known my best friend for 8 years and she's only known her for two. What should I do? I've told my best friend about it before and she just sort of blew me off and forgot about the whole thing. I try to hint to her once in a while about it but I guess she just doesn't get it. Could she be thinking the same thing as the other girl???? Please help!!!Friend Confused
Dear Friend Confused,
I'm sorry you're feeling hurt about all of this but sounds like you're the only one who has a problem with the situation. Your best friend doesn't seem to mind the way things are. And the other girl certainly doesn't. I think you might be right when you say she seems like "she should be best friends with my best friend just because she goes out with her brother." That's understandable. She's close to the guy and she wants to make sure things stay cool with him so she gets close to the sister.
What can you do about it? I'm not sure there's anything more to try. You've already told your best friend how you're feeling... That was a good thing, but that didn't seem to change anything. So, my suggestion is that you spend more time with other friends. If you and your best friend are growing apart (which happens between friends) you shouldn't be forcing yourself to hang out with people who don't want to be with you. It makes more sense to find people who DO want to be with you as much as you want to be with them.
I know it's hard to give up a long time best friend and find new people to get close to... but you don't want to keep feeling hurt and rejected, do you? So, my advice is to make the effort to hang out with other friends. You'll feel better.
In friendship,
Terra
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