Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Guilt:
“I don't want her to be mad at me.”
Hey Terra,
You said everything about fights with friends, but you didn't mention conflicts. My best friend and I get along really well. Everyone says we're twins. The only problem is recently I got a boyfriend. One weekend I planned to go on a double date with her and her boyfriend. Well she dropped out, because her mom changed her mind. I asked her if she minded if I hung out with my boyfriend and hung out with her another time. She was cool with it. For a while anyway. I got an E-mail from her saying that she didn't want to talk to me again and not to call her. And to stay away from her. Being the person I am I went and called her right away to find out what was so wrong. She said it was nothing and that she felt left out. She didn't mean to send the E-mail. But she's done it 3 other times since then.I don't want her to be mad at me. I mean I'm with her so much that my parents say that her house is my second home. Sometime I just don't get her.
Latter
Dear Latter,
It sounds like your best friend is confused and feeling more than one thing at a time. She's probably happy for you and your boyfriend, but she is also, as she said feeling "left out." Then on top of that, I wouldn't be surprised if she's feeling guilty about the way she feels. See how confusing it can be?
My suggestion is that you tell her how YOU feel. Tell her how much the friendship means to you and let her know that you care about her and want to remain close. To do that you'll need to schedule time with just the two of you... no guys. That way she won't think she's losing you to a guy, and she won't be!
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.