Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
Friends and Enemies:
“The girl my friend likes isn't any good for him.”
Hey Terra,
I was seeing this guy for about a year, with a couple months break up after 9 months. Then we got back together. Everything seemed to be fine and then one day I hear from different people that he wants to break up w/me. I cried a lot over him, but we did break up. We decided that we want to be best friends. So, we've been hanging out a lot lately. But now this girl that I used to be friends with has been hanging all over him. And the thing is that she lies all the time. She has been coming to church and says she is trying to change but she has said this many times before. I really can't trust her because all our lives she has lied to me. And stabbed me in the back. And the guy doesn't really know her so he doesn't know how she is. This is really killing me, I'm trying to be her friend but she is making it very difficult. She has already started w/some little lies. I know this guy isn't mine anymore, but I still have feelings for him and I still care about him, and he deserves better and I don't want to see him lied to and hurt. I also have the feeling that who he thinks he kinda knows (this girl) is really only what she thinks he wants -- meaning she is sorta putting on an act.Broken Hearted
Dear Broken Hearted,
Sounds like you are "friends" with two people who you aren't being totally honest with. What are friends for if not to talk to, honestly and openly?
My suggestion is that you talk to this girl and tell her how you really feel about what she has done to you personally. How do you know she's lied to you? And if you have proof, then talk to her about it. I don't buy this "I'm trying to be friends with her" routine. What's the point of being "friends" with someone you "can't trust"?
Also, talk to the guy and tell him how you feel about what's happening between him and this girl. If your motivation is to protect him from getting hurt NOT to get him to go back with you, then you will be acting as a true friend. If you're only trashing this girl so you will look better in his eyes, that's a bitchy thing to do, and you shouldn't go there.
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.
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