Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

Thanks a lot for the help. At my school right now there is a Valentine's day balloon sale going on. You can buy a balloon send in the order and the person you give it to gets a note saying to come to the lunchroom after school. I'm not hesitant about giving my best friend a balloon but it is the fact about this boy I have certain feelings for. It is not one of those feelings where I know I'm in love at first sight. But it is a kind of funny feeling I can't explain. Also my friend and I share our deepest secrets with each other. The deepest secret she told me was about me. She said that one day I have a crush on one boy and then another boy the next day. I don't know what's happening to me last year I didn't care at all about how I looked. Things are getting worse for me. First I had to deal with one of my puppies running away. Then I got a new puppy and he ran away. We have a older dog and think that he did something with him. Then one of my good friends on my basketball team quit. I'm having trouble with school. I can't concentrate. It seems like I can't do anything anymore. It also seems like I've gone from Tom-Boy to Boy Crazy. That certain guy I was talking about isn't popular but he's friends with the popular kids. That is why I like him because he isn't a popular preppy guy. I like him a lot (I even filled up 1 notebook with 100 pages with his name in it) but I don't think he likes me back. You know you are a lot like my new friend Kirsten. She is really nice and is a great listener. Thank you for listening to me you have been a lot of help!!!!!

P.S. It seems like the only thing I do now is ask god why me? Also the only thing I love to do anymore is sit in my room cry and listen to music.

Just don't like him

Dear Just don't like him,

Everything you describe tells me that like is very emotional for you right now. It also sounds pretty normal for someone your age to have all of these different feelings colliding into one another! (Not necessarily pleasant, but definitely normal!)

One thing that might help you deal with all of these feelings is to remember that emotions are like waves on the beach... they crash onto the shore and then they roll back out. While I know things can be intense at times, the challenge is to try to ride the waves... observe them, they are always changing... instead of letting yourself get churned up inside and battered about by them.

At times of intense emotional upheaval, I find it very helpful, to take a time out, in a quiet place if possible... close my eyes, and concentrate on breathing. INHALE... EXHALE.... slow down... INHALE ... EXHALE.... let go of whatever you a trying to control (like the thoughts, feelings, behavior of other people. You can't control any of that, so it is best to let go.)

Another thing that might help, since you obviously like to write and you're good at it, is to keep a journal. That way you will always have a "great listener" at hand!

Finally, I'd suggest you check out my web site www.theinsite.org where you will find a particular helpful section on emotions called The Fires Within.

I hope this helps!

In friendship,

Terra

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