Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
“I told my bf I'd do a threesome with him.”
(Continued)
Hey Terra,
But does that really apply to everyone? Everyone is different and people live by their own set of rules. Just because people have certain fetishes and want their partners who they in your opinion "supposedly care about" to satisfy those fetishes, why is it so bad? It's the twenty first century, and people are still so shy about sex. But it's normal. Everyone loves others in their own way. People aren't gonna be into the same things, but as long as both people involved are in agreement and are comfortable, what does it matter?I admit, I wrote to you when I was upset and emotional. I'm gonna talk to him about my feelings about it. If it doesn't last with him, ok then I'll learn a lesson. But I don't feel just because a man asks his woman for a threesome or anything else means he doesn't love her. What about other couples who do it, who have been married for like 20 years? It's just to add something to their life. Right now, we're just having fun... I realize we're not married, but there's no shame at all in trying to make him happy. Pimping involves payment, and relationships aren't perfect. You work on them to try to make them better and if it doesn't work out in the end, it wasn't meant to be. HE IS ALSO okay with not doing the threesome. We've talked about it. I guess I wrote you because I was just emotional and didn't know what to do. I was hoping you would ask me questions, and the questions would make me think about what is right and wrong.
Penelope
Dear Penelope,
You want some questions? OK, I'll ask you some questions to help you though about what is right and wrong:
Do you want to share a sexual experience with your boyfriend and another woman? Because "sharing" him is what it's going to end up being unless you and the other woman are also going to be involved with each other sexually. If you're not into the idea of having sex with a woman, then it sounds like what's going to be happening here is that your boyfriend is going to be the one "in charge" (as you said in your first email). What I mean is, if you and the other woman aren't into woman/woman sex, then he's going to be the focus of attention from both of you and he's going to be making it with two women at the same time.
It's not for me to judge the "rightness" or "wrongness" of a threesome. If you think you're going to be just fine with it, then go for it, girl. I would just suggest that you think about it before you go ahead. Take minute and imagine how you would feel watching him making love to another woman. If that's okay with you, then there's no problem, is there?
Your thoughts?
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.
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