Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
“Should I tell my mom?”
(Continued)
Hey Terra,
I understand and I know you're here for me trying to look after me on something I shouldn't even put myself through if I am still young. I know I only have one map and one map only but I am just to scared to do anything like telling her.Scared Teenager
Dear Scared Teenager,
Whether you tell her or not is your choice.
A good rule to follow before opening one's mouth is to pause and ask yourself these three questions:
- Is what I'm about to say true? (that's the easiest one to answer)
- Is it helpful? A lot of things may be true but aren't helpful. For example, "You've got a huge zit on your chin," may be true, but how is does it help the person to hear this information?
- Is it necessary? This 'confession' of yours, are you dumping it to help ease your conscience, even though you know it's going to create a huge upset for your mom. And after you've dropped the bomb, what 'good' have you really accomplished? Has it brought you closer to understanding and respecting each other more. (If so, then that's a very good thing.) If it's likely to create a 'firestorm' of reaction from her that's not going to be calming and healing for a long time (maybe not ever) then why do it? What's to be gained?
If the answer is no to two out of three, the wisest thing to do is to keep your mouth shut.
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.
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