Annie (AKA Hey Terra!) has been around long enough to have experienced a lot of what Life can dish out. But, it hasn’t been so long that she's forgotten what it's like to be your age. Check out some of the thousands of email questions teens from around the world have sent to Terra. You may learn something useful from her answers:
“My mom is so disappointed in me.”
(Continued)
Hey Terra,
I know it's bad for me to lie to my parents and sneak out but I'm so in love with this guy that I would do anything just to be with him or see him. My parents already caught me sneaking out. My mom got so mad, I feel stupid for trying to sneak out! My mom is so disappointed in me and I lost her trust. Now my mom has to follow me wherever I go.Two days ago I got in an argument with him and he called me a liar. I felt so bad that I started crying. He kept saying that everything I had told him was a lie so instead I just hung up on him. I regret meeting this guy... I try so much to forget about him but I can't.
Wondering
Dear Wondering,
Sure you can forget him, but it may take time. The first thing I would suggest is that you try to make things better with your mom. Talk to her, heart to heart. Tell her that you made a HUGE mistake by getting involved with this guy. Tell your mom that you love her and that you are really sorry for hurting her and for being so untrustworthy. Tell her that you want her to trust you again and that you will do whatever it takes to earn back her trust. Tell her what you told me, that you "regret" meeting this guy and tell her what you have learned from this experience.
You'd better think about what you've learned before you talk to your mom about it. Hopefully you HAVE learned some important lessons about being honest and not jumping into a relationship with a guy before you really get to know who he is and what kind of values he has, as a person. Your mom will forgive you, but it may take her a while for her to trust you completely again.
As for the guy... Maybe this will help you forget him:
- End all communication with him. That means stop calling him and
texting him. - If he gets in touch with you, do NOT respond... No matter
what. Do NOT respond. - Anyone who loves you would not encourage you to
lie to your parents. That goes for sneaking around too. A boy who would
mess up your relationship with your family does not love you. - Stop fooling yourself about how "in love" you are with this guy. If anything,
you are "in love" with your fantasy of Mr. Perfect (that's not him) and you
are "in love" with the idea of being in love. (That's also got nothing to do
with him.) - Wake up and take some slow deep breaths. Calm down. This is
your life, not some movie. Calm down and THINK. If you don't, and if you
"do anything just to be with him or see him"... then you're going to do
something very stupid that you will regret. - He doesn't care about you.
He thinks you're a liar. He hurts you. Don't confuse a kiss with love. You
are smarter than that and you've got a future to look forward to. Calm down
and think before you throw it away.
Talk to your mom and keep talking to her. She loves you. No doubt about it.
In friendship,
Terra
Need some advice? Write to Terra.
She'll give you a straight answer you can trust without any lectures.
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