Questions & Answers

Hey Terra,

The thing I am afraid of is her beating me and going off on me because my mother is an alcoholic. She drinks every day. I have been whooped by my mom so many time in my life for things, but me telling her I am not a virgin is the worst thing I have done. The worst thing is her not talking to me for awhile and kicking me out. But I don't know. I am really scared of her and it is not cool. Please Terra what am I going to do?

(Some times we use an condom but not every single time it depends on what day it is.)

Scared Teenager

Dear Scared Teenager,

First thing you MUST use a condom EVERY SINGLE time you have sex. No discussion about this. No "sometimes" or "it depends on what day it is." You can get pregnant ANY DAY of your cycle. Yeah, I know some days the chances are higher, but you don't know exactly when you're ovulating. It's just not worth the risk and I don't care what any guy says about condoms and "sensitivity". That's him thinking about himself. You're the one who could get pregnant, not him. So you're the one who much insist. That's the rule: No condom, no sex. End of discussion.

The other thing you want to make sure of is that you ALWAYS protect yourself against sexually transmitted diseases (including HIV/AIDS). That's the other reason to ALWAYS use a condom. OK?

As for telling your mom, well, I'd never encourage someone to lie to a parent. I'm a parent myself and I believe in the importance of open and honest communication. But on the other hand, you know your mom. And since she's an alcoholic that means that you can't predict whether she's going to be raging or violent. I wouldn't recommend you put yourself in harm's way.

But you do need to take care of your body. I really hope you're listening, girl. This is your future and you only get to map that out once.

I care about you.

In friendship,

Terra

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