Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move
Terra (aka Annie Fox)
“My friends don't like my other friend.”
“How did a good relationship get so nasty so fast?”
I have this one friend who doesn't like any of my other friends. When I'm with some of my other friends, they are talking about her. I say, "You guys, she's my friend, and you shouldn't be talking about her." So they stop.. For the moment. But, they do it again other times. It still bugs me that I can't make them stop.
Girl in the Middle
I have written to you in the past and again I need some advice. Me and my boyfriend of 3 years recently had a blow up and broke up... it was really nasty and he kicked in my front door. The problem is that I am in a state of internal conflict. My head knows that it is for the best and that I could do much better, but my heart doesn't, and I cant stop thinking about him and I have this relentless urge to try and talk to him.
Right now he is still mad at me (so I have heard) because I called the police on him, and he thinks it is my fault and is not showing any remorse for what he did. He is...
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July 10, 2016
If you really want a bf/gf, but don't have one, and everyone else does, it can bring you down. You may wonder, "What's wrong with me?" I totally remember feeling this way in high school. It sucked. Once you buy a ticket to ride that depressing train of thought, you'll assume you don't have enough of whatever you think you need to be loved. ("I'm not hot enough, not cool enough, not thin enough, not buff enough, not outgoing enough, etc. etc. etc.")
So I understand what's going on when I get an email like this one:
Hey Terra -
I shouldn't be upset about this but I am. I'm going to be 16 soon and I've never had a boyfriend or even had a guy ask me out. I'm worried I'll be unprepared for a real committed relationship and be forever alone. I really want to know what that teenager rush of young love feels like that so many of my friends have experienced. What do I do? - Ms. Loveless
Dear Ms. Loveless,
I understand where you’re coming from. But please don’t assume that teen relationships prepare you for “real” committed adult relationships based on mutual trust, respect, honesty, shared values, open communication. They rarely do. You need to be an adult to have an adult relationship. As intelligent and mature as you seem to be, you are still becoming an adult, not there yet. You are still a full-time student, still living in your parents' home, being supported and supervised by them. More »