Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move

In friendship,
Terra (aka Annie Fox)

From Terra’s Inbox

“I have never gotten along with my mom.”

 

“I'm 14 and the guy I like is 19.”

Hey Terra,

I'm having troubles with my mom, not my dad... that's fine. I kind of feel a lot of anger towards my mom, and a bit of dislike, and I feel terrible for saying it but it's true. And I hope you don't just tell me to sit down and talk because she isn't reasonable, and she treats every little bit of advice as a personal attack on her. It's gotten to the point where I can't stand her voice. It gives me a headache. She thinks I am mean to her but I'm not, I just want to be left alone. I'm 16 and she still yells at me about my bed, where the papers from class go, my desk, and she always says she...

 

Hey Terra,

I know this guy at my church. First, I should tell you that I'm 14. We started going to this church about a year and a half ago. When I began to get to know everyone, "K" attracted my attention more than anyone else. I began to talk to him more and more, and we began to have very good conversations. We still often talk about horses (we BOTH love them so much!!!) Well, I think I should tell you that he is 19, and that is quite an age difference. I have really begun to fall for him, and he is the sweetest person I know. I think we could have a relationship, but I don't know what to do to...

Read Terra’s Answer » Read Terra’s Answer »

Read more teen letters from Terra’s Inbox »

Annie’s Blog:
"I'm a good kid, so why do my parents suddenly not trust me?"

October 10, 2017

'Mo-om, can I have a little privacy please??" 'Mo-om, can I have a little privacy please??"

The most effective tool in a parent's arsenal just may be a clear memory of what it was like to be a kid. This is especially true if yours are 11-17. Most of what frustrates and infuriates our tweens and teens is probably the same stuff that drove us nuts when our parents did it. Like invading our privacy, for example.

A kid's need for privacy grows with the child. When it comes to teens, privacy is essential. They equate it to becoming more independent, managing their relationships, and taking care of their own business as much as they can.

Self-respecting teens (ones who think for themselves and resist blind compliance) will push back hard against rules that infringe on their privacy and independence. I'm not implying that "good" parents must dispense with all rules for teens and let them do whatever. Hell no! I'm just pointing out a simple fact: If you want to raise kids who know how to problem-solve and use good judgment when you're not around, then bring your teens into all discussions about rules. Shutting down their questions with "Because I said so" is likely to encourage kids to break rules and lie about it.

Today's email comes from a 15-year-old who is having a hard time understanding some recently imposed parental rules. She's also having a hard time getting her parents to discuss it with her. More »


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What's New?
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''Middle School Confidential, Book 3: What's Up with My Family?'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
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''Middle School Confidential, Book 1: Be Confident in Who You Are'' by Annie Fox, Illustrated by Matt Kindt
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