Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move
Terra (aka Annie Fox)
“Why do nice guys finish last?”
“My parents won't let me do anything!”
Firstly, I must say that I really enjoyed your book The Teen Survival Guide to Dating and Relating. It was very informative with down to earth information; in fact, it even inspired me to write and ask you for advice.
My question to you is this: why does it seem that a lot of girls are attracted to "bad boys": the guys who skip class, smoke, get drunk every weekend, etc. Twice I've been left "high and dry" by beautiful girls who have seen something in these "bad boys." On both occasions, I dealt with the situation with calm acceptance... on the outside. In truth, it hurt inside like a...
I'm ticked off because my parents don't let me do anything. I still love them but they have to understand that I have grow up some day and they can't hold me back forever. First I thought that piercing my nose would be cool but I wouldn't wear the earring to school but they said "NO!!" Then I started to like rock music they said that I can't listen to that, Then I started to wear eyeliner and my mom was like "Take it off! Don't wear eyeliner!" Ohmigod, she even wears it, but she tattooed it on. And the bad thing is that my dad always and I mean ALWAYS has her back.
What can I do?
|Read Terra’s Answer »||Read Terra’s Answer »|
June 23, 2016
Sometimes our kids say they're ready for the next step toward independence and we totally agree. We celebrate the milestone, brief them on the house rules, making double sure we're all on the same page, then we let them go and hold our breath. When they stumble, we listen with compassion and as much patience as we can muster. We help them evaluate their mistakes and we hold them accountable. And they do better next time.
That's how we all learn.
But sometimes we're just not convinced they're ready, no matter how fiercely they lobby us. Then what? That's where this mom finds herself...
Is it okay for my 12-year-old to have a boyfriend if she seems emotionally ready? She seems pretty mature when it comes to situations like this, but is she too young? – Worried Mom
Important question. Glad she asked. Here's my response...
Dear Worried Mom:
Is this an abstract question coming from your daughter or does she already have a boyfriend and is trying to back-date the permission slip?
You ask "Is it okay?" and you sign your letter Worried Mom. That tells me you don't think it's okay. It doesn't matter what I think. She's twelve. You're her mom. You make the rules. But it's not always that simple, is it? Twelve-year-olds can be super persistent. More »