Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move
Terra (aka Annie Fox)
“My girlfriend won't come out to her parents.”
“I'm stuck in the middle.”
I have been in a long-term relationship with my girlfriend for about 4 yrs. I don't feel we are getting anywhere and I don't feel I am right for her. I have been out as a lesbian for 5 years and she is still "in the closet" with her parents. They are homophobic so she wont tell them, and I feel that is impacting on our relationship. I feel we can't get together fully until she will come out too. What can I do to make her come out or how should I break up with her?
Out Sister Out
Two girls who are best friends (A and B) are competing over me. As soon as A added a "y" onto my name B did to. They also printed out a coloring sheet and when A gave it to me B quickly added, "I colored it." B is playing football at my school because she heard I was going to be on the team. A was going to but her parents didn't allow it.
After school ended there is a public pool that is a block away from where I live, I go there nearly everyday. One day I saw them there and they came over, said hi, and gave me a hug. They preceded to ask me to do things with them, water basketball, Marco...
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July 10, 2016
If you really want a bf/gf, but don't have one, and everyone else does, it can bring you down. You may wonder, "What's wrong with me?" I totally remember feeling this way in high school. It sucked. Once you buy a ticket to ride that depressing train of thought, you'll assume you don't have enough of whatever you think you need to be loved. ("I'm not hot enough, not cool enough, not thin enough, not buff enough, not outgoing enough, etc. etc. etc.")
So I understand what's going on when I get an email like this one:
Hey Terra -
I shouldn't be upset about this but I am. I'm going to be 16 soon and I've never had a boyfriend or even had a guy ask me out. I'm worried I'll be unprepared for a real committed relationship and be forever alone. I really want to know what that teenager rush of young love feels like that so many of my friends have experienced. What do I do? - Ms. Loveless
Dear Ms. Loveless,
I understand where you’re coming from. But please don’t assume that teen relationships prepare you for “real” committed adult relationships based on mutual trust, respect, honesty, shared values, open communication. They rarely do. You need to be an adult to have an adult relationship. As intelligent and mature as you seem to be, you are still becoming an adult, not there yet. You are still a full-time student, still living in your parents' home, being supported and supervised by them. More »