Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move

In friendship,
Terra (aka Annie Fox)

Annie’s Blog:
Should I just send the nude pictures and make him happy?

December 8, 2014

This feels weird, but as long as he's happy.... This feels weird, but as long as it makes him happy....

Smart girls and guys often make stupid choices. Smarter teens recognize when something feels off. They're the ones who stop beforehand to get a second opinion. Here's a recent email I received from a smarter girl:

Hey Terra,

My boyfriend and I have a long distance relationship and he really wants nude pictures of me. He doesn't pressure me about it, but I have a hard time explaining why I can't do it. I was raised with conservative values, though I have different views from my parents on lots of things. I've realized it's okay to break certain rules, but I can't even take the picture without feeling disappointed in myself or guilty. He understands my boundaries, but I still feel bad about it. I know plenty of other girls do it and I feel abnormal. Should I just send the pictures anyway, even if I'll feel down about myself but will make him happy??

–Feeling Abnormal

Dear Feeling Abnormal,

You already know the answer to this one, but it sounds like you need support. OK, here it is: NO. You should not “just sent the pictures anyway, even if (you) will feel down about (yourself) but make him happy.” No way!

It's not your job to make your boyfriend happy. It is your job to live your life in a way that makes you proud of who you are. Sending nude pictures will not make you feel proud. More »

From Terra’s Inbox

“I really do care about my bf, but I don't want a bf now.”

 

“I'm afraid I'll be thought of as stupid.”

Hey Terra,

I've been going out with my boyfriend for 2 months but I have come to the realization that I don't want to be with him. I'm having real trouble figuring out a way to break things off. I think that it is because I really care for him and his family. They have been so sweet and attentive with me. Also, right now his mom and step-dad are having problems and it would hurt to walk out on him when he and his little sister need me. I would love to end things off as friends but I know that he is going to refuse or just say he will but never actually call me or anything.

I really care for him, as I...

 

Hey Terra,

My problem is that there's a guy I really like who I don't know where I am with. I mean he knows all about politics and everything that's going on in the world around him. He is very aware of what his interests are and where he stands on opinions about everything. I know I should be heading toward this direction too because I am seventeen but I don't know how to jump into it. I am afraid if I pursue becoming good friends or more with him that I will feel stupid or he will think I am stupid because he has more knowledge about things than I do. What should I do? I would like to focus on...

Read Terra’s Answer » Read Terra’s Answer »

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