Annie Fox for Teens... Hey, Terra!

Hi there… How’s it going? Probably not all that great or you wouldn’t be here looking for help. No worries. Teens have been emailing me since 1997 because I give good advice. If you’ve got a problem with friends, so-called friends, a bf/gf, a parent, or anything else… email me. I can help you sort out your feelings. No matter what’s going on, you always have choices. And choices matter because sometimes the stuff we do to “fix” a problem only makes things worse. You don’t want to go there. Instead, let me help you figure out your next best move

In friendship,
Terra (aka Annie Fox)

From Terra’s Inbox

“This other girl is coming between me and my best friend.”

 

“I'm only 12 and I weigh 180 pounds.”

Hey Terra,

I have this friend whom I've known since the seventh grade and when we first met, my best friend and I really liked her. And then she started to go out with my best friend's brother. Now in our sophomore year, I feel as if I'm always in competition with this girl over my best friend. She makes it seem like she should be best friends with my best friend just because she goes out with my best friend's brother. Sometimes this girl will talk to me and sometimes she can be a real bitch. I've known my best friend for 8 years and she's only known her for two. What should I do? I've told my best...

 

Hey Terra,

I am in the 7th grade and I think I am fat. I mean like really. And I know about the eating disorders and stuff like that and would never do something like that. But I mean I would like to go on a diet or something but I don't really want to talk to my mom about it (or my dad). Every time we (me and my mom) go shopping I mean like I will try stuff on and it won't fit and she will say it is just the shirt or just the pants and it's not me. But I know it is. I mean I weigh 180 and I am 12. Should I talk to my mom? What should I do?

Pink Panther

Read Terra’s Answer » Read Terra’s Answer »

Read more teen letters from Terra’s Inbox »

Annie’s Blog:
Mom, can you just be quiet and listen?!

May 3, 2016

You're not listening to me!!! You're not listening to me!!!

Somehow my mom and I just didn't get along when I was in high school. (Hey, it happens.) I was an overweight, overachiever who believed nothing I did was good enough. It didn't help that my dad, aka my #1 fan, died suddenly when I was fifteen. I was my mom's youngest child, only daughter. After she lost my dad she couldn't give an insecure teen the support and encouragement I craved. Conversely, she expected, no hoped, I'd provide her with support and comfort. That didn't happen.

I remember her yelling: "You're not listening to me!"

I was listening, I just didn't like what I heard. I didn't agree with her and I wasn't going to do what she said. Even if she had a good idea, I'd reject it, on principle. What principle? That it was her idea.

Our relationship turned into a quagmire of hurt feelings, misunderstandings and miscommunications. We both longed for a cease-fire, but didn't how to call one.

When I moved across the country, distance made the heart grow fonder. And when I became a mom, my mom and I learned to appreciate each other a lot more.

Now you understand why an email from a teen with parent problems gets to me. And why I do understand.

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